On Equilibrium and Fear
When I’m feeling stressed or fearful, I very rarely let it show — even if expressing it could be helpful. Sometimes I HAVE vented to those close to me, and sometimes it has helped, but I’ve regretted doing it at other times. The mileage definitely varies, and it’s difficult to predict.
But one aspect of the path I’ve taken to actively become healthier is that the stresses and fears I deal with are flareups, not fires. They pass more quickly; can be processed and dealt with more easily. And that makes me very hopeful. Things that I struggled with as recently as a few months ago, which would have overwhelmed me physically, mentally, and emotionally pass more quickly now, sometimes in hours. And I’m grateful for that.
I just had a few other really wonderful puzzle pieces fall into place this morning, after having a particularly difficult night — and although I began my workday having already set aside those stresses, the good things that happened just now only pushed me farther towards something that I know exists, and have felt in a profound way at times, but which I have lacked for a while, and am now feeling again, in THIS MOMENT, with a mix of anticipation, wonder, and no small anxiety: Equilibrium.
I feel equilibrium. Balance, in all things.
And I know that to keep everything in the current moment on the right track, for the hopeful things of the future to come to pass, all I need to do is do the things that I do. That’s it. Just do the things that need doing, that I already know I excel at, with no hesitation, fear, or worry — and I will keep that equilibrium.
I can do this. And so can you. I believe in you. And that’s all.